About One Ryan Ross.
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Warning, there is a mini rant on what is probably an unpopular opinion under the cut.
Interviews where he says things like that MTV one, the pic with coke on the table, saying he's gay on twitter, then deleting it later, then this marriage joke? It all screams PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!! to the point where I actually just sigh when I see his tweets. I don't look forward to them anymore, and at this point, I wonder if it's something real, or if he's jerking us around every time he says anything. :(
Honestly, it took this last marriage 'joke' for me to really get this way about him; I think I may view marriage more seriously then a portion of my flist? I don't really think jokes about a person's sexuality and jokes about getting married are very funny. To me, if you *aren't* homosexual, saying you are and then taking it back later, is *very* Not Funny, and pretty far into douchebag territory. There are tons of homosexuality jokes out there, after all; why add to them? Even Pete, as much of a douche as he can be(and we all know he can when he really *wants* to!) has always said he was 'gay above the waist', he never actually claimed he was gay. Most musicians seem to claim they are bi these days, they may not be, but they are at least not making a complete joke out of it, actually 'taking it back' like that!
As for the 'marriage', as open-minded as I am, I have some pretty old-fashioned beliefs about marriage, that it should be a forever thing, and is a Serious Commitment, not to be undertaken lightly. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out, but when you go into it, it should be with the assumption that it *will* be permanent.
My parents have been married for 34 years, and at 58 and 52, are still attracted to each other enough that I *call* before I go over there on the weekends, because there are things I just Do Not Want to See my parents doing! :P
On the other hand, my aunt and her ex-husband are far closer as friends, today, then they *ever* were married, so I do know that some marriages are better off being over. And after babysitting for a couple that used this particular reasoning, DON'T get me started on those who stay together because they think it's 'better for the children'! >:( sure, it's better for your kids to hear you screaming and fighting all the time, then to have divorced parents; better for the kids to be used against one parent or the other, being told no by one parent, and then yes by the other, or vice versa, out of spite for the other parent...
It definitely shouldn't be a complete joke. I'm not really sure *why* this got to me the way it did, I've never taken marriage jokes as anything but a topic to roll my eyes at and mentally go 'how *lame* can you get!' before, but for some reason, finding out *this* was nothing but a joke really offended me.
I have *NEVER* been one to believe in fan entitlement, but there is a point when yeah, you may not owe your fans anything, but you don't treat them like they're mindless and just there for you to play with like toys, either.
Interviews where he says things like that MTV one, the pic with coke on the table, saying he's gay on twitter, then deleting it later, then this marriage joke? It all screams PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!! to the point where I actually just sigh when I see his tweets. I don't look forward to them anymore, and at this point, I wonder if it's something real, or if he's jerking us around every time he says anything. :(
Honestly, it took this last marriage 'joke' for me to really get this way about him; I think I may view marriage more seriously then a portion of my flist? I don't really think jokes about a person's sexuality and jokes about getting married are very funny. To me, if you *aren't* homosexual, saying you are and then taking it back later, is *very* Not Funny, and pretty far into douchebag territory. There are tons of homosexuality jokes out there, after all; why add to them? Even Pete, as much of a douche as he can be(and we all know he can when he really *wants* to!) has always said he was 'gay above the waist', he never actually claimed he was gay. Most musicians seem to claim they are bi these days, they may not be, but they are at least not making a complete joke out of it, actually 'taking it back' like that!
As for the 'marriage', as open-minded as I am, I have some pretty old-fashioned beliefs about marriage, that it should be a forever thing, and is a Serious Commitment, not to be undertaken lightly. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out, but when you go into it, it should be with the assumption that it *will* be permanent.
My parents have been married for 34 years, and at 58 and 52, are still attracted to each other enough that I *call* before I go over there on the weekends, because there are things I just Do Not Want to See my parents doing! :P
On the other hand, my aunt and her ex-husband are far closer as friends, today, then they *ever* were married, so I do know that some marriages are better off being over. And after babysitting for a couple that used this particular reasoning, DON'T get me started on those who stay together because they think it's 'better for the children'! >:( sure, it's better for your kids to hear you screaming and fighting all the time, then to have divorced parents; better for the kids to be used against one parent or the other, being told no by one parent, and then yes by the other, or vice versa, out of spite for the other parent...
It definitely shouldn't be a complete joke. I'm not really sure *why* this got to me the way it did, I've never taken marriage jokes as anything but a topic to roll my eyes at and mentally go 'how *lame* can you get!' before, but for some reason, finding out *this* was nothing but a joke really offended me.
I have *NEVER* been one to believe in fan entitlement, but there is a point when yeah, you may not owe your fans anything, but you don't treat them like they're mindless and just there for you to play with like toys, either.
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Date: 2009-08-04 10:11 am (UTC)That is so cute with your parents, though! I love hearing about marriages and love lasting that long. :)
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Date: 2009-08-05 09:00 am (UTC)And yep, my parents are going to be that old couple you see out having lunch together; the embarrassingly sweet ones who are *way* too old to be unable to keep their hands off each other, lol!
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Date: 2009-08-04 10:21 am (UTC)I wish I could have a relationship like your parents have. :D Mine aren't a good role model. :P
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Date: 2009-08-05 09:04 am (UTC)and my parents are great! embarrassing at times, but great! :)
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Date: 2009-08-04 10:39 am (UTC)I'm pretty old-fashioned about marriage as well though. My parents have been married since '75 or so, and they may not have a perfectly-working relationship, but they do okay.
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Date: 2009-08-05 09:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-04 10:42 pm (UTC)I have some pretty old-fashioned beliefs about marriage, that it should be a forever thing, and is a Serious Commitment, not to be undertaken lightly.
I completely agree. It should definitely be a forever thing.
awesome about your parents! Mine are kind of like that. They have been together for over 30 years and are still in love with each other (but not having sex all the time, thank God considering I still live at home /o\ =P)
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Date: 2009-08-05 09:09 am (UTC)and yeah, I am *very* glad I moved out, lol; I'm SO glad hearing odd noises from the kitchen and yelling "I'm LEAVING, be back in an hour!" are a thing of the past, lol!
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Date: 2009-08-05 04:35 am (UTC)all of this.
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Date: 2009-08-05 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-05 07:52 am (UTC)Basically, I think marriage needs to be deconstructed and the rights associated with it available to anyone who wants them. Binding, family-creating contracts should not be limited to romance. If I want to sponsor a person to get a green card, I should be able to choose whomever I want to bestow that honor on without having to marry them. If I want my best friend of many years to be at my deathbed, regardless of romantic attachment, I should have that ability. If I want to share my good health insurance benefits with a friend, I should be able to. Single people should not feel pressure to marry just so they can have access to some of the basic rights given to the married.
Heh. Sorry for the rant. If people make vows to someone saying they will stick with them forever and do it because they genuinely want to and love that person, then yes, I take that very seriously. Ryan seems to have proven that he doesn't take anything at all seriously.
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Date: 2009-08-05 09:32 am (UTC)I have come to the decision it's not so much *marriage* I take seriously, as it is, well, giving your word about something. Like, the thing that *makes* me take marriage seriously is the fact that it is basically a promise you give to someone. *that* is the part that matters to me, not what the government says about it.
Oh, I think my state is insanely stupid(yep, I'm in California. /o\) for the crap it has pulled, and I understand your point about how stupid laws based around marriage are, but the part that matters to me is that promise.
I take promises, and well, the old fashioned 'word of honor' type stuff seriously; things like 'if a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right', 'if you're doing a job, it must be worth doing, so put as much effort into it as if you were getting rich off it', 'you're only as good as your word', 'treat people the way you want to be treated, in small things as much as in big ones', and 'never, EVER hurt, or stand by and let someone else hurt, a defenseless creature, a child, or anyone else.' are the backbone of my sense of 'self'.
Even though I work in fast food, from cleaning to customer service, I'm doing it the best I can, and even if no one *else* sees I'm doing my best, *I* know I am, and that's what matters! I stand up for my co-workers, and defend them from small-minded, prejudiced 'guests', return dogs who keep getting out of yards on busy streets, over and over until the fence is fixed, simply because my dog or not, it doesn't deserve to get hit just because it's owner is too lazy to fix the fence, and so on...